St. Peter greets him and then looks up his name in THE BOOK.
“Well,” St. Peter says, “I don’t see here where you’ve done anything really bad…but I don’t see that you’ve done anything really good either. Can you tell me something good you’ve done that might influence my decision?”
“Sure,” the man thinks back. “There was this one time I was driving down the road in my truck and I saw a young lady with a broken down car by the side of the road. A gang of bikers had surrounded her and were harrassing her.
“So I pulled my truck over. Got my tire iron out from behind the seat, and walked up to the biggest, meanest, baddest biker of the gang. I grabbed his ear-ring and pulled his face down to mine. Then I showed him my tire iron and told him: ‘Listen hear, you and your gang better leave this young lady alone or you’ll have to answer to me!'”
“That was awesome!” St. Peter exclaimed. “When did that happen?”
“Oh,” the man thought for a moment, “about ten minutes ago.”